Last night TSN's Bob McKenzie composed an epic column detailing all the potential suitors in an Ilya Kovalchuk trade, by which in the process, he pretty much concluded that no one is in a good position to deal for the talented Russian.  Don't believe me?  Read on.

I've chosen to excerpt the following lines from the piece.

BOSTON - Given Kovalchuk's financial demands and expectations in free agency, Boston is not prepared to take on that salary under virtually any circumstances. So Boston's offer will reflect that and may not match up with others. 

CHICAGO - An offer of Barker and Versteeg would be entirely in the strata of what Waddell would love to get for Kovalchuk, but given the cap situation in Chicago, Kovalchuk would be virtually impossible to sign long term.

LOS ANGELES - Therefore, to this point, the Kings want to do this deal primarily on the back of their prospects. As long as that is the case, the fit isn't right.

NEW JERSEY - But if you peruse the Devils' lineup and see what established players they have who “might” be available under the right circumstances, the two names that jump out are Brian Rolston and Dainus Zubrus. But honestly, it's a lot more guesswork than anything else where the Devils are concerned.

NY RANGERS - So the Rangers, as they are wont to do, will explore their options and Waddell will encourage that because he sees assets he would dearly love, but it doesn't look like the right fit, unless Sather decides to take a walk on the wild side.

PHILADELPHIA - The Flyers are another team that likes to chase the big game, but their cap situation is extremely tight and there's a real legitimate question whether they have the desire or the cap space going forward to sign Kovalchuk to an extension.

ANAHEIM - It's difficult to believe they would bring a player making that much more than Ryan Getzlaf and threaten salary structure on the Ducks.

BUFFALO - The profile doesn't fit on any level.

CALGARY - For the longest time, it looked as though the Flames were positioning themselves for a run at Kovalchuk, but sources in both Atlanta and Calgary say it simply is not happening.

That was some crack analysis there, Bob.  But why stop there?  After all, you've only stated your case on 9 teams, there are so many more possibilities!

DETROIT?  - The Red Wings have a number of players tied up to long-term deals, so it appears that they've set their course for the next decade already.  Probably not a good fit.

COLUMBUS? - The Blue Jackets have an opening at Head Coach because of the surprise dismissal of Ken Hitchcock, but Kovalchuk is a natural left winger, not a coach.   I don't see him fitting here.

NASHVILLE? - Nashville has a hockey team, and on that hockey team are hockey players.  It's rumored that the Thrashers want hockey players in return as well as prospects, and my sources tell me that the Preds have a minor league hockey team that is composed entirely of prospects.  Maybe, I don't know!

INDIANAPOLIS? - This probably won't work because the Colts play football and Ilya Kovalchuk plays ice hockey.  But despite it not being a strong fit, I believe in Peyton Manning and his ability to lead a team of two-sport athletes.

TOYOTA MOTOR COMPANY - It's true that they've been in a serious slump as of late, and are probably looking to add an impact player to get back in the race.  However, it appears that crippling product recalls and public perception woes will probably keep them from locking up the 8-spot in the Western Conference.  Probably not a good fit.

THE CAST OF LOST - Talk about a team in chaos!  All the players seem to be living two separate lives, and it's becoming apparent that Locke is turning into a terrible locker room influence.  Anyway, this season seems to be their last in contention for awhile, and Kovalchuk doesn't seem to fit here.  Besides, his jersey number isn't one of the mysterious numbers.

 ATLANTA?  Don Waddell knows that he needs to get more than he did in the Hossa deal, and the Thrashers will have to be willing to clear cap space by including Ilya Kovalchuk in the deal for Kovalchuk, who they will then have to sign to a long term deal.  The jury's out on this one.

/world implodes

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