With the New Orleans Saints having captured the first Super Bowl win of their existence, fans of the Toronto Maple Leafs have taken heart, and are rejoicing in hopes that they, too, might taste the sweetness of a championship elixir.

"Sure, we didn't have a hurricane or anything," said Wayne Simpkins, 33, of Kitchner, as he sported a Drew Brees/Wendel Clark Frankenjersey ("BRARK"). "But I know something else that hasn't happened since 1967, and there's not a more lovable set of losers in Canada than the Leafs. This is the year!"

When it was observed that the Leafs are in last place, and suck like an Electrolux, Simpkins responded: "Who dat, eh?"

Simpkins was not alone in his jubiliation. Inspired by the Saints' victory and the subsequent Bourbon Street revelry, legions of Leafs fans took to the streets of Toronto last night, specifically the 1967 Stanley Cup parade route. Police reported issuing five tickets for littering, and one parked car was slightly damaged--although the perpetrator left an apologetic note with his contact information.

Hockey season is finally upon us. But damn it, weekends exist all year round. And just because the NHL has decided to schedule games on said weekend doesn’t mean our schedules are magically freed up for 24/7 snark. We’ve got basements to clean, and our respective mothers learned everything they know from Mike Keenan. So on Monday mornings, you will get a recap post and a picture of noted thespian Terry Kiser. Enjoy.

Well it's about damn time, Football.

You dominate the sports landscape from Training Camp in August up until now, with your "exciting product" and your "huge television ratings" and your "worldwide appeal."   Well guess what?  When Peyton Manning decided to add Tracy Porter to his cadre of sure-handed receivers, you were put on notice.  That's right.  The world is finished with you and your "interesting athletes" and your "riveting storylines."  Nay.  Across the world, people saw that 14 point lead and changed the channel, as if it were some sort of public referendum.  People everywhere saying to the National Football League "we're done with you forever.  We have hockey to watch."

Absolutely.

So the NHL is ready for you, world.  When the NFL took its ball and went home for dinner, Hockey is still ready to play.  Welcome.

You know, until we pull the same stunt next Sunday for the Olympics.

Last night TSN's Bob McKenzie composed an epic column detailing all the potential suitors in an Ilya Kovalchuk trade, by which in the process, he pretty much concluded that no one is in a good position to deal for the talented Russian.  Don't believe me?  Read on.

Scene: Nashville, inside the Predators locker room. The boys are trickling in, getting suited up for the morning skate. Already present are PEKKA RINNE, RYAN SUTER, and JP DUMONT. DAVID LEGWAND shuffles in, with a slightly awkward gait, and sets down his bag.

DUMONT: Allo, Leggsy.

LEGWAND: (sits down gingerly in front of his locker): Hey, Dumer.

RINNE: David, you are looking a little rough around the perimeter, no?

SUTER: Yeah, man, you look like shit. Rough night?

LEGWAND: I've got this new girl...she's torturing me. Didn't get much sleep.

SUTER: I hear that! Good for you, bro.

DUMONT: Ah, ze old horizontal bop.

LEGWAND: No, that's just the problem. No bopping. She's torturing me, I tell you.

CALGARY (MYFO) -- As the NHL winds down for the Olympic break, the Calgary Flames have made it clear that they intend to be sellers when the Trade Deadline rolls around.  And while sending Olli Jokinen to New York seems to be such a move, MYFO sources have learned that the trade was made to set up a more important move in the near future.

"Yes, we've dealt Jokinen and Brandon Prust to the Rangers to shake things up, but really, the move happened as a precursor to trading for Brandon Prust," General Manager Darryl Sutter told the source.  "We just like to screw with him."

As you know, analysis of any hockey situation is woefully incomplete until MYFO has had its say. We may be slower than some of the "big boys," but we are never wrong. Which is why you can take this to the bank: Jason Blake, action movie star.

Having already had a fine supporting role in a Canadian-ish comedy film (see above), Cancer Boy's move to Tinseltown will also prefigure his move to the action genre. If The Rock can play a hockey player-turned-tooth-fairy, certainly a cancerous hockey player can play a wisecracking, gun-toting piece of meat.

Hockey season is finally upon us. But damn it, weekends exist all year round. And just because the NHL has decided to schedule games on said weekend doesn’t mean our schedules are magically freed up for 24/7 snark. We’ve got basements to clean, and our respective mothers learned everything they know from Mike Keenan. So on Monday mornings, you will get a recap post and a picture of noted thespian Terry Kiser. Enjoy.

February is upon us, which also means it's time to be welcomed by articles about how February is a terrible month for sports.  It's an easy write; after the Super Bowl, football goes away, baseball is a month away, and we're still in the pre-playoff race malaise in the NHL and NBA.  But I spent the last weekend in January watching Mono Skier X, where paralympians race derby-style down a hill on one ski.  And it's not that I don't have tremendous respect for what these guys are able to do.  It's just not that exciting a competition.  The winner every heat was the guy who didn't fall down.  I'm not kidding you.  There was one heat where the top two advanced to the final and since only one guy finished, they had to award the guy who made it the next farthest down the hill a berth.  February, I welcome you with open arms.

Anyway, let's forget that ever happened and recap some hockey.

Hi everybody!  Mark Fistric here, and I'm the proprietor of Mark Fistric's House of Hats.  If I learned anything from Apple's reveal of their new iPad tablet computer yesterday, it's that in this economy, you need products that serve more than just one function.  So we've gone through our entire House of Hats inventory and decided that it's time to FLIP THE LID on single-use headwear.  Starting today, ALL ITEMS MUST SERVE TWO PURPOSES.  Join me in the showroom, would you?

Patrick Kane: Hey, f-f-f-fellas. How we gonna chill here in the C-C-C-Couv?

Kris Versteeg: We could hit some clubs--I already ordered up a limo.

Jonathan Toews: Limo?

Kris: Don't worry, Cap'n. I prepaid, including the tip.

Toews: Well done. But men, before we go out, we need to get shipshape. I will not be caught socializing with a bunch of uncouth ruffians.

Kaner: I got your c-c-c-couth right here, Cap.

What's the matter, Mr. Cool J?

LL Cool J: Click on "Read More", and you'll understand.