Melt Your Face Off

Category Archives: Not Hockey

Mark Parrish Joins Nickelback Onstage At Concert; Embarrasses Himself and Music Lovers Everywhere

We can all agree that the life of the professional athlete is a quality existence. Opportunities are presented to them that ordinary people such as you and I are rarely afforded. They make absurd amounts of money. Women blindly throw themselves at male (and female) pro athletes as if they are the second coming of Leif … Continue reading Mark Parrish Joins Nickelback Onstage At Concert; Embarrasses Himself and Music Lovers Everywhere

Crime and Punishment: Part IV

Due to consuming an entire bottle of wine, Raskolnikov’s loose fingers “accidentally” sent an email to Deadspin czar Will Leitch, informing the great leader of Melt Your Face-Off’s existence. However, this action was done without the knowledge or approval of any of the other writers. We were unprepared for the resulting traffic and were caught … Continue reading Crime and Punishment: Part IV